I’ve realized there are worse things than having a boy trample on your heart( i know melodramatic much, forgive me, it is the first time it was the other way round, thats what i've decided for a justifiable reason for my extream reactions) or not the possibility of not being able to go Taiwan for two weeks; worse than fighting with a best friend, being knocked down by car, being lost in Malaysia or insanely abrupt crying over the pass weeks. Everything seems insignificant to what’s happening now.

I haven’t decided if it’s good or bad. At sporadic moments this current issue amplifies my frustration, of not being able to be normal and run crying to you know who. Yes it’s like one of those default reactions which i still am trying to ditch, unsuccessfully, which drives me to more delirium.whihc then ill call kess rick or azizah to rant and bawl like an idiot.

Because the current issue is worse than anyone thinks, and I don’t want to tell just anyone at the moment. But it also overpowers the rest of the smudge of bleahness of the past weeks.

So yes.

I’m more pathetically dazed than ever now because of the possibility of the D word about to be carried out.