If she didn’t try at all, if she didn’t fight, she wouldn’t have been able to go out at all. She wouldn’t have been able to go out for a longer time. She wouldn’t have been able to go out till midnight. Yet this was considered to be no effort at all. She wondered around attenuated with possible lies reverberating at the back of her head. For several moments at a time holding her gut in in hopes that it wouldn’t crumble to the ground. That feeling where your chest, throat and even up to your check bones feels like it is being vacuumed out from your orifice encased by your lips. Her lab mate managed to make out what she said through the cracks and sobs, “the problem was that I liked him”.
I think she meant love though. She recalled how he said he’d be her bear forever. Forever ended quite abruptly, but yes forever always seemed to end abruptly for her on several occasions. There will not be a next week from now on.
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